Die Another Day

Starring:
  • The Creator of the Lawnmower Man
  • Oscar-Winning T and A
  • Classy British Sex Appeal

 

Directed by a Post-Modern George Miller "Oh, let me tell you something, chap. I learned some pretty freaky stuff on my night's out with Billy Bob and Angelina. You know what you can do with a cheese grater, a burning candle and an Oscar statue?."
The New World Order, Shaken Not Stirred

For a while, it seemed like the world was no longer safe for James Bond. More specifically, it seemed like it was no longer safe for the suave, sexy Western super spy. A couple of New Yorker's ago, Anthony Lane cranked out a brilliant analysis of the entire film series where he labeled Ian Fleming's concoction as a representative of British imperialism without the colonies, going around the world, diffusing disaster and performing conquest upon every sexy woman in his wake. It was a brilliant take, but one that I will neither repeat or attempt to topple in this review. Instead, I want to focus on Bond in the post-95 era. That year gave us Golden Eye, a fun addition introducing the world to Pierce Brosnan in the title role as well as new politics. It was the first Bond film since the collapse of the Berlin Wall so thus the producers decided to let their Anglo-daredevil take on the delicate struggle between the Motherland and the Irish. If it seemed to lack polish and balance at times, us die-hard fans could merely blame it on the fact that the new lead was just getting his feet wet. Then, Tomorrow Never Dies made Bond into a super-Ralph Nadar of sorts, taking on the Ted Turner-esque Jonathan Pryce in his bid for the ultimate takeover. Bond, in the new global-politics, handled his bad guys and his share of women in a way resembling global leaders of the time. He was arbitrary on somewhat shaky ground in the same way Clinton and Blair had to handle good guys and bad guys when it was never certain who the good guys and bad guys were. The Connery's, the Lazenby's, the Moore's and even the Dalton's always had the faceless enemy from behind the Iron Curtain (Or their subordinates) to worry about. But once 1999 rolled around, all that was left remained The World is not Enough. Having toppled Ireland and multinational corporations, Bond was forced to go after the very Hollywood Euro-trash villain embodied by a pain-resistant Robert Carlyle. Since the bad guy 's novelty was never elaborated upon, the film mercilessly did its darndest to trash and up and demoralizes the sexiness that was so close to being both of those things all along. Instead of the clever and subtle misogyny of the past, the audience was treated to lines such as, "I thought Christmas only came once a year" and the pleasure of watching Denise Richards as the most form-fitting nuclear scientist in cinema. The World is not Enough threatened to be Bond's Lewinsky, a giant blowjob hell bent on the destruction of a Western mythology.

I am relieved to report that the folks at Broccolli and Company got their act together with the new installment, Die Another Day. Here, the Great Hope of the Empire has to show some vulnerability and take some major hits before saving the world and bedding the girl. Day also, even though filming began before you-know-what, seems to have a greater awareness of the new world. The film's opening contains a classic political image: Bond literally surfs his way into North Korea. You read correctly: He hangs ten directly into the Axis of Evil. Apparently, the military brass are up to no good and Bond is going to make a pre-emptive strike while the US is too busy protecting our oil and Hebrew interests in the Middle East. And while the hovercraft over the minefields chase has a nice, overblown craftiness, it doesn't end so well for our hero. He is subjected to fourteen months of electro-shock and water torture, all of which is depicted over Madonna's title track in the standard "flash and splash" opening sequence. Whoa, I thought as I almost dropped my contra-band bag of Crispy M and M's. The symbol of Western style and strength is now no longer above pain and suffering. And this movie makes it feel painful and sensual all at once. It also seemstopical, does it not? The film never really sustains that type of sweeping imagery past the sight of Bond with a John Walker Lindh-style makeover, but it sets a new tone for the normal thrills and kicks we expect. Bond knows he was set up when he was captured past the 38th parallel and is out to exact revenge. This takes him all over the world from Havana to Iceland back to Korea again for the climax. Along the way, he meets Jinx (Halle Berry), a woman he immediately beds but remains uncertain as to whether this Oscar-winning hottie will either be the Bond girl or the Bad girl. He also teams up with Agent Frost (Rosamund Pike), a former Olympian with an Olympic sexuality to boot. The bad guy this time is Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens), a daredevil Richard Branson-type who lives up the high life with his constant case of insomnia. He also has a super-duper satellite in orbit that can act as a second sun. Seems like a somewhat dubious device, but we are assured that it will cure world hunger by helping crops grow. I'm not really sure how that's going to work since its light projectory really acts more like a laser beam than a legitimate heat and energy source. But of course, Graves ends up using this "cure for world despair" as his proverbial axe to grind. Will Bond save the world this time? Let's just say that some things obviously don't change all that much.

Through its duration, Die Another Day shows some progressive stripes. I know that some people will bemoan the fact that the bad guy isn't all that…exciting. He lacks a cool deformity and his weapons of mass destruction feel as though it were lifted from an Avengers episode. But I think that his purpose has far greater weight. Now, I may SPOLING a few things here but Graves turns out to be the bad North Korean military guy that Bond thought he had killed during the opening. Turns out he had some sort of genetic "body-lift" and ended up patterning his playboy billionaire after the swagger and look of Bond himself. Get it? The bad Commie from the East looks to destroy the West by camouflaging himself into the ultimate Anglo globe trotter. To me, statements in brainless, spy action flicks don't get any better than that. In addition, the harsh humbling Bond receives at the beginning of the film helps to reform the near-parody sexuality of the past couple of film. It gets back to the basics; with a little bit of smooth talk followed by a whole lot of mattress wrestling. Of course, it's safe to say that director Lee Tamohari (Once Were Warriors) is more adept with the action as opposed to the sensuality. There's a love scene between Bond and Agent Frost at the resort in Iceland that is made completely out of…ice. Very cool to look at, but all I could think about whether Bond was suave enough to overcome shrinkage.

Having said that, the action in this film has a particular knowing style. There's a great scene where Bond and Graves meet during a match of fencing. Very proper and very British. The match degrades into a grudge match that could hardly be classified as gentlemanly. All of the action sequences have that feels and never divulge into the outrageousness of the last few films. Brosnan seems to be getting the hang of things as he now actually looks like he's Bond instead of a Jeremy Northan-type who showed up for the audition. Berry also has fun as well, but it seems disquieting that we've reached the point in our society where it's all right that a Bond girl has actually won an Oscar. But maybe I'm living in the past. Maybe this is a sign that everything has evolved. If Bond can be overtly political, then perhaps everything has to be bumped up a notch. Maybe Her Majesty will start thinking that there is hope for a Reconstruction of the colony system after all.

 

 

The Pitch:
2 Ian Flemming
Plus
1/2
1 and a Half Axis of Evil
Equals
1/2  
3 and a Half Die Another Day
See It For:
Halle Using Her "Hit and Run" Super Power in order to Save the World.