Will Harrison Ford be able to go from this:

to this?

There's Only One Way to Find Out! Click Here for the May Portion of the Rockin' Summer Movie Preview!

 

Updated 4/30/08 by shimes

Snobs fans! It's time! It's the first weekend of May...what do we want? Take it away, Hulk!

Summer freakin' Movies, y'all! Cold Sodas! Hot popcorn! No monsters in the projection booth! Here's your Rockin' Summer Movie Preview, May Edition. June, July, and August will be rolled out over the next few weeks.

We've got other business too. First and foremost, JimmyO has officially turned in his resignation here at Filmsnobs. This has been a long time coming, of course, and it's a completely amicable split. James has moved on to bigger and better things, with a real live actual paying gig at KY-3 in Springfield, doing his weekly Front Row at Five tv segments and writing reviews for the Front Row at Five Blog. I'll keep his links fresh here every week, and if you've been a longtime reader of the site, please check out his letter.

Second, I've got a review of Forgetting Sarah Marshall over at Flak Magazine. I had a great time at the movie, but the soft sexism of Judd Apatow continues. On video, my #3 movie of last year, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly.

 

Updated 4/24/08 by shimes

Hey, y'all! I've got a Forgetting Sarah Marshall review in the pipeline over at Flak Magazine, which should be out sometime next week. And I'm working on the kick-ass Summer Movie Preview too. For now, let's just get to the weekend's new releases.

Baby Mama: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have assembled some awesome bit players. I'm still not sure what to think: It seems like a stupid spring movie, but with that Tina Fey...magic? Her first feature length screenplay was Mean Girls, so I'm still a little skeptical that she can carry a whole movie on this premise. Then again, that's John Hodgman (otherwise known as PC) as a gynocologist.

Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay: I have extremely high hopes for this one. The first one was, in my semi-professional opinion, a brilliant satire of the American dream. Seriously, read the review. It looks like we're in for more of the same.

On video:

2 Governor Jack Stanton + 1½ Sam Seaborn = 3½ Charlie Wilson's War

1½ You Can Count on Me + 1½ Noah Baumbach = 3 The Savages

 

Updated 4/16/08 by shimes

Snobs, sorry I haven't been around for the last month. Contrary to the blogger credo , I'm looking for a job and NOT spending all my time on the internet. Hopefully somebody here in the Kansas City area has use for an unemployed taxidermist (Anybody longtime Filmsnobs readers still buying that one? I'd hate to have to admit that I have a law degree and can't find a job.) But I did get some new content up. Three reviews, more to come, and the Rockin' Summer Movie Preview is in process. Let's look at what's in theaters this weekend.

88 Minutes : This is the quintessential spring throwaway crap movie. A gimmick plot, a former It Girl, the Psychologist Who's Really the Crazy One, ridiculously unnecessary Stuff Blowin' Up, Evil Genius Serial Killers, and Al Pacino. Next spring, I hope they come up with a movie that teams Pacino and DeNiro in their 88 Minutes and 15 Minutes roles, call it 103 Minutes , and have them get chased through Los Angeles by psychotic Russian mobster serial killing college students for an hour and forty minutes.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall : Team Apatow puts Drillbit Taylor in the rearview, generating huge buzz with this one. Jason Segel, one of the fat guys rooming with fellow fat guy Seth Rogen in Knocked Up , is dumped by Veronica Mars, goes on vacation, where he happens onto the same resort as she and her new rock star boyfriend. Apparently, the male nudity of Walk Hard is back in copious amounts, Kristen Bell sports a bikini, and there's more character development than you might expect. On the downside, we have an unproven director and it seems like another one of those condescending Fat Guy, Hot Chick deals.

The Forbidden Kingdom : Jackie Chan and Jet Li kung fu fighting together again for the very first time! This might have been a really big deal during, say, the first Bush Administration. But now…it just kinda feels like they're trying to sell us Holyfield v. Bowe IV. Wait, wasn't Li supposed to have retired from martial arts roles? Isn't that like Rob Schneider saying he's not going to do anymore “You Can Do-eeet!” cameos in Sandler movies. Plus, you've got some white kid in the middle of some sort of Last Samurai plot, directed by the guy who made Stuart Little . Can't wait for summer movies now, huh?

On the New Release shelf, here's what I've seen, by order of recommendation:

2 When We Were Kings + 2 Q-Bert = 4 The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

2 A Civil Action + 2 Shook, Hardy & Bacon + 4 Michael Clayton

2 Knocked Up + 2 John Hughes = 4 Juno

2 Dog Day Afternoon + 2 Reservoir Dogs = 4 Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

2 Flags of our Fathers + 2 Pvt. Charles Graner, Jr. = 4 In the Valley of Elah

2 Scarface + 2 “Stop Snitchin'” Campaign = 4 American Gangster

2 Mystic River + 1½ Amber Hagerman = 3½ Gone Baby Gone

2 Grizzly Man + 1½ Easy Rider = 3½ Into the Wild

2 Fargo + 1½ The Burials of Melquiades Estrada = 3½ No Country For Old Men

1½ The Family Stone + 1½ Steve Martin = 3 Dan in Real Life

1½ In & Out + 1½ Alastair Sim = 3 Death at a Funeral

1½ Sleepy Hollow + 1 Ewan McGregor = 2½ Sweeney Todd

1½ Pride and Prejudice (Joe Wright version from 2006) + 1 The Hours = 2½ Becoming Jane

1 Antz + 1 “ Cape Man” = 2 Bee Movie

1 The Upside of Anger+ 1 Dr. Gonzo = 2 Things We Lost in the Fire

1 The Royal Tenenbaums + 1 Richard Gere = 2 The Darjeeling Limited

1 The Squid and the Whale + 1 Lars Von Trier = 2 Margot at the Wedding

1 Looney Tunes: Back in Action + ½ Miley Cyrus = 1½ Alvin and the Chipmunks

1 Enough + ½ Bernard Goetz = 1½ The Brave One

 

Updated 3/19/08 by shimes

Nothing much going on in movieland, so there's no new content this week. Let's go right into the previews, shall we?

Drillbit Taylor: A Judd Apatow produced Seth Rogan script, starring Owen Wilson. What could go wrong? Just check out the trailer...this seems like a Rob Schneider movies, doesn't it? It seems like Owen mailed this one in--let's just hope he regains his stride in the post-suicide attempt movies. I mean, Apatow dragged Wilson into a film directed by Steven Brill (Little Nicky, Mr. Deeds, and Without a Paddle) for goodness sakes.

Meet the Browns: Because we're in the Obama "post-race" era, I hope you'll take me at my word that I don't hate Tyler Perry because he's from the Chitlin Circuit. I don't like Tyler Perry because I think he's an hypocrite and his work takes a simplistic, condescending "faith will fix everything" approach without any real discussion about what his Christianity actually means. That, and he insists on shoehorning this self-indulgent, annoying "Madea" character into almost every damn one of his shows. These things would be better if Perry hired Larry Johnson to play Grandmama instead.

The Hammer: I know this sounds stupid, but the trailer doesn't look that bad. The director of the funny little indie movie Kissing Jessica Stein brings you a comedy starring Adam Carolla as a washed up boxer making a comeback. Like I said, it sounds awful, but the trailer doesn't look too bad. It can't be worse than Drillbit Taylor, right?

I Am Legend and Enchanted came out on video this week, but in the holiday rush of last December, I missed both these. I did see Atonement, and my opinion goes against the grain. 1½ A Very Long Engagement + 1 Henry James = 2½ Atonement

 

Updated 3/12/08 by shimes

A week has gone by without us getting slammed in the Kansas City Star by their gossip columnist, so I guess that's good. What's not so good is Will Ferrell's Semi Pro , which is extremely lazy. I am a big fan of Ferrell's—I think his movies have something more going on than just showing lots of flab, like they're a series of commentaries on the state of the American male. If you accept my premise that Elf and Talladega Nights are ambitious in their own way, then Semi Pro is a by-the-numbers disappointments. If Anchorman is Ferrell's Blazing Saddles , then Semi Pro is his Dracula: Dead and Loving It. 1 Blades of Glory + 1 George “The Iceman” Gervin” = 2 Semi Pro . Let's look at what's hitting theaters this week.

Horton Hears a Who : This is depressing. Now, I'm not one of those elementary school librarian Seuss purists who thinks that the collective works of Theodore Geisel are holy writs of cuteness that deserve to be unsullied by movies. I'm just pissed that the movies are not done well—by which, I mean that they're it without into tapping into the political subtext that permeates his children's stories. This one plays up the fact that it has an admittedly excellent cast: Jim Carey, Steve Carrell, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, Will Arnett—heck, Carol Burnett makes an appearance. But, part of the problem with adapting Seuss is that movie scripts is the language—that's what makes Seuss Seussian , but on film, Seuss movies are any other Fox Animation film but with a brand name. Will Horton dare take on the imperial allegory of the Seuss story? Maybe that's why they're dumping this thing in March.

Never Back Down : Rebellious blonde outsider Sean Faris moves to Florida so his family can support his younger brother's tennis career. Tennis is for pussies. Sean is so rebellious that he takes up Mixed Martial Arts with Djimon Hounsou, is gigantic black who will, as black characters in movies tend to do, teach whitey about life. Hounsou is a great actor (Oscar nominated for Blood Diamond and In America ), so this seems like slumming. Maybe Michael Clarke Duncan simply wasn't available.

Doomsday : I liked this better when it was called 28 Days Later .

On video:

2 Fargo + 1½ The Burials of Melquiades Estrada = 3½ No Country For Old Men

1½ The Family Stone + 1½ Steve Martin = 3 Dan in Real Life

1 Antz + 1 “ Cape Man” = 2 Bee Movie

 

Updated 3/7/08 by shimes

Better Know a Gossip Columnist! Let's catch up with our good friend, Kansas City Star gossip columnist Hearne Christopher! Long time readers may remember the last time Hearne attacked us, in what we simply refer to as “ The Shawn Edwards Saga ,” where we nailed him, Colbert-style, for being a sloppy journalist . Last Saturday, Hearne once again took a shot at us in the newspaper, but now he's not even mentioning us by name—just making oblique references to “film snobs” and tossing off his snide little comment. C'mon Hearne—if you're going to attack us, at least have the balls enough to call us out by name and pay us the professional courtesy of helping spike our hit count!

Hearne congratulates Shawn and Russ Simmons for winning the Los Angeles Press Club's inaugural Entertainment Journalism Awards. First, I'd like to reiterate that I really like Russ. He's always been a hell of a nice guy in the limited time I've been around him, and I really like the features he does on Fox 4. Russ is a member of the KCFCC Governing Council, which as we've said before, is one of the most progressive civic film critics organizations in the country and has been a great help to us. Not to mention the fact that Russ is excellent on the radio, and he writes thoughtful reviews at eKConline . We couldn't be happier for Russ.

Our problem is with Shawn Edwards and his quote whore-iness, his cultivation of this condescending “Man of the People” persona, and the fact that he was rude and unprofessional while in the KCFCC. Our problem with Hearne is that he slanders us in the paper on behalf of Edwards, has his head so far up Shawn's ass that he can't understand our anti-Edwards argument , and, most importantly, he's an extremely sloppy “journalist.” I mean, if Hearne wants to feud, that's fine—just, you know, get your facts straight.

Now Hearne really thinks he's nailed us, and he's getting personal about it. We're not going to get into Hearne's extremely stupid “Shawn Edwards isn't a quote whore because the studios don't run his negative quotes” argument. We're going to simply point out that, once again, Hearne Christopher doesn't get his facts straight and that doesn't stop him from slandering us in a major metropolitan newspaper.

In final paragraph of his column, Hearne says, “ Better yet, come home, all will never be forgiven by the film snobs. Edwards has demonstrated that he can take repeated lickings and keep on ticking. And unlike many of his detractors, he has an actual job in the industry, with a paycheck to boot. ”

Well Hearne, one of the filmsnobs does have a job in the entertainment journalism industry. James is now the film critic for KY-3 in Springfield , where he does his “Front Row at Five” segment every Thursday, and gets to interview actors and directors for his pieces. What started as two dudes with a modem in 2001 has resulted in an actual television job in the third largest media market in Missouri . I understand that Hearne just wants to insult us, and that's fine. Whatever. But before you attack us publicly in the paper, Hearne, do your homework. If anybody at the Star was cared or paid attention to how sloppy and insulting Hearne is (Remember Buck Buchanan's downtown landscaping project from beyond the grave?), he wouldn't have “an actual job in the industry.”

Now that we got that out of the way, this is the week in movies.

10,000 B.C . : Roland Emmerich has fallen from mega blockbusters like Independence Day and Godzilla and The Patriot and The Day After Tomorrow to the failed big budget wasteland of March. Apparently, this is some sort of coming-of-age story about a prehistoric mammoth hunter. The characters are named stuff like D'Leh, Nakuduh, and TicTic, which sounds slightly racist. Maybe the whole thing is racist; I don't know and I'm probably not going to find out. This movie is so ridiculous and under-the-radar that the Krazy Kreationists aren't even bothering to protest it.

College Road Trip : What is it with filthy-mouthed black comedians who do this late-career Disney sellout? Yeah, we're looking at you, Eddie Murphy. You cultivate this edgy, dangerous persona, and then do the equivalent of a middle manager buying a Harley: Sign up for the “family friendly” paycheck and then start mailing it in. Maybe Martin Lawrence is shooting for some late-career sympathy Oscar nod for whatever his Dreamgirls is.

The Bank Job : Roger Donaldson is one of those directors who's been around a long time for no real reason. He won a couple New Zealand Screen Awards in 2005 for The World's Fastest Indian , with Anthony Hopkins who masters a Kiwi accent to play a guy who builds the fastest motorcycle of the 1920's. Awesome, right? Roger Donaldson also made Cadillac Man , Cocktail , and Species . Here, he's got Jason Statham holding up a bank. That movie pretty much directs itself, right?

Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day : Frances McDormand is the personal assistant to Amy Adams, a Golden Age actress on the brink of stardom. Sounds like pseudo-naughty art house fare for Tivoli-going blue hairs to blush at, but these two actresses should make it watchable.

On video:

Into the Wild : 2 Grizzly Man + 1½ Easy Rider = 3½ Into the Wild

Things We Lost in the Fire : 1 The Upside of Anger+ 1 Dr. Gonzo = 2 Things We Lost in the Fire

Awake : Jessica Alba, Hayden “Annikan Skywalker” Christenson, and Terence Howard in some convoluted thriller about people who wake up in the middle of surgery. Sounds kinda of Butterfly Effect ish to me.

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium : Hey, it rhymes! Dustin Hoffman in Jack Nicholson's purple Joker suit! Natalie Portman with short hair! What could be so bad about that?

 

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